Most people wish they could throw their tv out the window or take a hammer to their laptop. Most people never do it. I am not most people.
It was somewhat by happenstance, somewhat by finances, and somewhat by pure laziness that when I moved to the hills of Virgina I chose not to lug my 180lb television with me or fork out the $80 a month for a connection to the digital world.
So I have finally found some unprotected wireless connection and have come back from my sojourn from the real world. I only have one question, what is tweeting? I understand the concept, but what is the point? Is this a necessary addition to our lives? Does this aid in us becoming closer to one another, as humans, or just distance us more. More words and less meaning. More contact and less connection. I am young and pretty smart and technologically inclined but I refuse to give up my time spent talking to people so I can spend more time texting and tweeting and updating my myspace and facebook and creating online profiles. I can't even update my blog more than thre times a year, something I hope to remedy, but only to save those around me from having to listen to my dribble.
"The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn, ya know. People, they don't write anymore, they blog. Instead of talking, they text. No punctuation, no grammar. LOL this, and LMFAO that. You know, it just seems to me that it's just a bunch of stupid people pseudo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people, in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the King's English." (From Californication)
Ok, holding the rest of the dribble for when I am bored tonight at work with only 2 rooms in house, both stayovers so I don't even get to do a check-in tour. Hopefully the phone will ring a couple times.
"Cream cheese, the people's cheese." (Again, Californication)
9.11.09
1.7.08
And for the main course this evening... Fritos!
So after the afternoon shopping with Gill, we picked up my other 2 sisters (Gill is 15, Mikel is 9, Olivia is 7). We had a girls night out and went to Applebees and the Circus. At Applebees we perused the menu looking for new and exciting things, they usually have some seasonal innovation that involves something being miniaturized or the same meat done four different and seasonally-appropriate way that everyone looks at and shakes their head a little.
Some bright, and I am sure strapping, young lad in an Applebees office somewhere in Albequerque working late one night in a think tank, living off vending machine food, got a burger and chili from Wendys and thought, what if? He proceded to drop everything, tearing open his bag of crunchy and delicious and full of trans fats Fritos, piling them high on his greasy and chewy and still undercooked burger, then topping it off with the spicy and bean filled chili. Diareahea on a flaky and buttery bun.
Your other choice from this evenings specials is the Fritos Chili Pie. Who needs a burger as an excuse for Fritios and chili combining to form crunchy and beany goodness? Just a plate full of Fritos covered in Chili. No cheese melted on top, no big salad underneath it. Just processed corn product and tomato sauce and beans from a can. Life doesn't get any better.
How much did Fritos pay for that plug?
Sad but true.
Cheers!
Some bright, and I am sure strapping, young lad in an Applebees office somewhere in Albequerque working late one night in a think tank, living off vending machine food, got a burger and chili from Wendys and thought, what if? He proceded to drop everything, tearing open his bag of crunchy and delicious and full of trans fats Fritos, piling them high on his greasy and chewy and still undercooked burger, then topping it off with the spicy and bean filled chili. Diareahea on a flaky and buttery bun.
Your other choice from this evenings specials is the Fritos Chili Pie. Who needs a burger as an excuse for Fritios and chili combining to form crunchy and beany goodness? Just a plate full of Fritos covered in Chili. No cheese melted on top, no big salad underneath it. Just processed corn product and tomato sauce and beans from a can. Life doesn't get any better.
How much did Fritos pay for that plug?
Sad but true.
Cheers!
Doors
So, today I took my sister out to find an anniversary present for my mom, from my dad, and we stopped at a pizza joint for lunch. A little place that doesn't even take credit cards. We had a table that was maybe a little too close to the door, but it gave me an opportunity to see something that is, well, one of the reasons for this blog. A woman came in with two kids, she opened the door, let the girls in, and then followed them. Now, there is a basic step missing in this. Can you find it? See it yet?
She didn't close the door, the door which she clearly had to open, and hold open, and was a pretty heavy door if I may say so, and the restaurant was air conditioned, and it was buggy out and there was a table (ok, so it was my table...) right next to the door! So I waited a couple minutes then got up and closed it. I'm not sure if people thought I was really picky and weird or appreciated my effort, but I did it.
I thought about it, chatted with Gillian about it, and decided that we have been spoiled by magical doors. You know what I mean, we've all said Open Sesame to electronic doors, I still say it in my head almost everytime I pass through one. But it's more than that. We are too self absorbed to realize when a door isn't magic even when we had to stop and use two hands to pull it open.
Sad, but true.
Cheers!
She didn't close the door, the door which she clearly had to open, and hold open, and was a pretty heavy door if I may say so, and the restaurant was air conditioned, and it was buggy out and there was a table (ok, so it was my table...) right next to the door! So I waited a couple minutes then got up and closed it. I'm not sure if people thought I was really picky and weird or appreciated my effort, but I did it.
I thought about it, chatted with Gillian about it, and decided that we have been spoiled by magical doors. You know what I mean, we've all said Open Sesame to electronic doors, I still say it in my head almost everytime I pass through one. But it's more than that. We are too self absorbed to realize when a door isn't magic even when we had to stop and use two hands to pull it open.
Sad, but true.
Cheers!
30.6.08
An EGGcellent Product
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, what you have all been waiting for, the most innovative invention in egg-cookery since the microwave egg poacher, the one, the only, the EGG CUBER!
http://www.thekitchenstore.com/eggcuber.html
Now here I run into a problem. This item has absolutely no practical use. It does not cook or cut the egg. Does nothing for the flavor. This is an item which the only excuse to give to a cashier for is a child's birthday party. But the quirky consumer in me thinks this is the coolest way to blow $3 since fake tattoo vending machines.
I can come up with TONS of things to do with this. Square egg slices are great for salads, for topping your potato salad, for layering on... sandwiches... and just eating straight. After Easter morning you can cube all your eggs and build stuff! Pyramids and castles!
Ok, so, that said, at least it's cheap. My apologies for the childish tangent, but really now, a cube shaped egg?! What will they think of next?
Cheers!
http://www.thekitchenstore.com/eggcuber.html
Now here I run into a problem. This item has absolutely no practical use. It does not cook or cut the egg. Does nothing for the flavor. This is an item which the only excuse to give to a cashier for is a child's birthday party. But the quirky consumer in me thinks this is the coolest way to blow $3 since fake tattoo vending machines.
I can come up with TONS of things to do with this. Square egg slices are great for salads, for topping your potato salad, for layering on... sandwiches... and just eating straight. After Easter morning you can cube all your eggs and build stuff! Pyramids and castles!
Ok, so, that said, at least it's cheap. My apologies for the childish tangent, but really now, a cube shaped egg?! What will they think of next?
Cheers!
Setting up my blog...
So, in setting up my blog I was offered to put ads in my blog. Ironic, I know, hence the post. I knew ads on blogs existed, but the fact that I could choose to do it myself, intentionally and free of peer pressure or a gun to my head, was an idea that had never occurred to me. I had to look into it.
Here is the link blogspot gave me:
http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=42534
They use AdSense. One of the first things you are told, to ease your worried conscience, is that Google (the program is theirs, so go figure they use themselves) determines your content and will try and post ads relevant to what you blog about. So, if you talk about baseball, they will put banners for baseball memorabilia. And if you blog about you sexual exploits, they would put, ohhh, I dunno, Planned Parenthood banners?
You can also control how often a banner appears. After every five posts, or every one if you prefer. I know this is probably common knowledge for anyone who reads blogs, but this is new to me. If must make anyone who sees this option feel like what they have to say is important, that someone wants to advertise on their blog. But really, the advertiser doesn't have much of a choice, do they?
I am a little let down with the lack of eloquence, or really any form of unique or innovative thought in this post. This was a little surprise, can you tell I am new to blogging? In the future, I'm going to try and keep it a little more intellectual. Scouts honour.
Cheers!
Here is the link blogspot gave me:
http://help.blogger.com/bin/answer.py?answer=42534
They use AdSense. One of the first things you are told, to ease your worried conscience, is that Google (the program is theirs, so go figure they use themselves) determines your content and will try and post ads relevant to what you blog about. So, if you talk about baseball, they will put banners for baseball memorabilia. And if you blog about you sexual exploits, they would put, ohhh, I dunno, Planned Parenthood banners?
You can also control how often a banner appears. After every five posts, or every one if you prefer. I know this is probably common knowledge for anyone who reads blogs, but this is new to me. If must make anyone who sees this option feel like what they have to say is important, that someone wants to advertise on their blog. But really, the advertiser doesn't have much of a choice, do they?
I am a little let down with the lack of eloquence, or really any form of unique or innovative thought in this post. This was a little surprise, can you tell I am new to blogging? In the future, I'm going to try and keep it a little more intellectual. Scouts honour.
Cheers!
The Obligatory and Explanatory "First Post"
Welcome to "Culturally Impaired". It's pretty much ranting about everything that is wrong with the world today. Ok, that may be an overstatement. In a self-reflective, introspective, thought collective ramble I'll chat about advertising, product marketing, visual culture, art history, and all the obscure yet far-too-common items, habits, and various visuals that we experience everyday and may or may not notice. It's also probably going to be some griping about America and the inane idiosyncrasies that make us the brunt of so many jokes and Reuters Oddly Enough articles, but hopefully I can stay on topic. So, here it goes.
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellectual upon art.
- Susan Sontag
Advertising - a judicious mixture of flattery and threats.
- Northrop Frye
Advertising is the poetry of Capitalism
- Michael Maynard
Interpretation is the revenge of the intellectual upon art.
- Susan Sontag
Advertising - a judicious mixture of flattery and threats.
- Northrop Frye
Advertising is the poetry of Capitalism
- Michael Maynard
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